The Long Night
by TheRandomGenerator
Summary: Never written fanfiction before, but Kili and Tauriel in The Desolation of Smaug were just too perfect. A short expansion on the scene where Kili almost dies and he and Tauriel have a moment. No adult themes, just feels. ALSO: Timeline is fudged a bit so Smaug doesn't show up and distract everyone. Forgive me if specific dialogue/action are off; otherwise should be fairly canon.
1. Part One

"Not you. You stay here."

Kili stared at Thorin, then forced a laugh.

"What are you talking about? I'm coming with you."

"No. You'd only slow us down."

_This can't be happening._ Kili's voice shook. "I'm going to be there when that door is opened. When we first look upon the halls of our fathers. Thorin—"

"Kili." There was pity in his uncle's eyes, but it was, as ever, overshadowed by hard practicality. "Stay here. Rest. Join us when you're healed."

Kili wanted to protest, to argue and fight until Thorin would be forced to let him come. But he knew there was no use. The look in Thorin's eyes brooked no arguments. Angrily, Kili turned away.

He limped over to a barrel and collapsed onto it. Merriment flowed around him as the townspeople rejoiced, but Kili felt none of it. The iron will with which he'd forced himself through the trials of the past day was deserting him now that he had nothing to work towards. Kili closed his eyes and breathed hard, the pain of his wound flaring viciously. He heard Oin clump up to him and start speaking, the older dwarf first cheery and then anxious as Kili didn't answer. He couldn't. Suddenly it was taking all his strength to breathe.

Distantly, Kili heard Fili arguing with Thorin. _No good, brother_, he thought tiredly. _He always gets his way._

Kili didn't remember very much after that.

Staggering through the crowds... Fili, frantic, begging for help from strangers... Bofur's voice, when had he joined them?... the man, Bard, ushering them through a doorway... and suddenly he was on a bed, lying down, but still reeling.

The others were talking about him, and Kili wanted to know what they were saying, but his hearing was playing tricks on him, and he could only catch one word: fever.

_Makes sense_, he thought dazedly. _Because this must be a dream._

He was no longer lying in bed, but standing at the foot of the Lonely Mountain, and Tauriel was there. She stood in the middle of a clearing, starkly beautiful against a brilliant black-and-silver night, and she was playing with the talisman his mother had given him, tossing it in the air and catching it as he so often did when bored. The elf smiled at him, then leaned back and hurled the runestone into the sky. Kili tilted his head to watch as the token sailed up and up until it stuck glittering among the stars.

"It's all right," she assured him. "It was broken anyways."

"But I wanted it," he said plaintively.

"Oh, Kili." Suddenly Tauriel was before him, touching her fingers lightly to his cheek. "It can never come back. And neither can I."

She moved away from him, and Kili saw that Erebor had become a great grey tree, huge as a mountain, with branches that spanned the sky and held the stars like leaves. Its trunk twisted elegantly into a spiral staircase, and as Tauriel began to climb it Kili felt his heart ache with loss.

He groaned, returning briefly to reality, but the pain there was too great to bear, and he retreated back into his own fevered mind.

Bilbo was there, looking at him with the bemused, faintly annoyed expression that the hobbit so often wore.

"No, I'm sorry," he said tightly. "I told you, I'm not a burglar. They look your life, Kili, and I'm sorry, but I can't get it back for you."

"Can you at least tell me where they took it?"

Bilbo pointed to the ground. Kili looked down and saw a chasm opening up between his feet. Shocked, he leaped back. He was once again on the trail in the Misty Mountains, and the world was tearing apart.

"Kili!" Fili was reaching for him. "Grab my hand!"

Too late. A black canyon yawned between them. Kili stared at his brother in terror.

"Fili..."

The stone they were standing on lurched and the other dwarves yelled in fear. Kili felt oddly detached. He looked up at the sky.

There was Tauriel, standing on the wind and gazing down at him.

"Can you help us?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "I told you, dear Kili, that I could not return."

"But you're so far away."

"There is so little for you in this world. Why not leave?"

"Not without Fili." Kili looked for his brother, but all he could see was rain and darkness.

"As you wish." Tauriel turned away and began walking back to the stars.

"Wait!" Kili called. "Wait, Tauriel, don't go, not again—"

The ground fell out from under his feet.

Kili jolted awake with a start, and blinked in surprise.

He was back on the path to the boat that would take them to the Lonely Mountain, swaggering through the streets with the rest of the company as cheers sounded around them. Kili sighed with relief. He'd only been dreaming. He was going to the Mountain after all. What a silly idea, that they'd leave him behind. His leg felt fine.

They reached the boat, and as Kili was about to step aboard, Thorin barred his way. "Not you. You stay here."

Kili's heart plummeted. "What? Why?"

"I'll tell you why." Thorin's face was twisted and ugly. "Because you're a weak, stupid fool. You don't belong here. You've never belonged here. You've been running around like a puppy, clumsy and ridiculous, trying to show off so that we'll pat you on the head. Don't you know how you disgust us? A real warrior wouldn't have to prove himself. A real warrior would command my respect. But you'll never be anything more than an idiot boy."

Kili shrank back as Thorin loomed over him.

"One day your brother will be King Under the Mountain. But you? No one will even remember your name."

Thorin spun away and stepped aboard the boat. Kili was frozen to the spot as the little vessel sailed up a river of gold and into the heart of a diamond. Fili turned around and smiled brightly back at him, and then Kili was utterly alone.

"Fili!" he called into the fog swirling around him. "Fili! Don't leave me!"

The river chuckled menacingly behind him.

"Tauriel!" Kili shouted. "Tauriel, I need you! Please!" He looked up at the sky, straining his eyes, but there were no stars.

"How interesting," said a low voice behind him.

Kili whirled around. The blond elf, the one with angry eyes who often shadowed Tauriel, walked out of a wall of mist, holding a curved Orc blade.

"What?" Kili shouted, backing away and feeling the bite of the icy river at his feet. "What could you possibly want?"

The elf had a hungry look on his face as he strode up to Kili. His blade flickered with the reflection of the water.

"The spiders are coming," the elf said, and ran him through.


	2. Part Two

Kili sat bolt upright, dripping sweat, and screamed as agony tore through his leg.

"Kili!" Fili's voice was almost as pained as his own.

"Easy, lad." Oin pushed him back down to the mattress. "He's getting worse," Kili heard him say to someone. "Where's Bofur with that kingsfoil?"

"Kili?" He looked up at his brother's frightened face. "Kili, hold on, all right? Please, Kili, stay with me..."

Kili felt himself slipping into another delirium. He fought it for a moment, but the fever bore down on him like a vise, so he gave up, and walked into his brother's eyes.

He wandered down a path of their shared memories, looking around as they explored the Blue Mountains, hunted with Thorin, wrestled their cousins, feasted and fought. He paused far down the trail, slipping into an early memory.

He and Fili had been playing Orcs, smearing their faces with mud and running around shouting nonsense words. They'd just been sacking an elvish village with grim, boyish delight when their mother caught them.

"But they're only elves!" Kili remembered whining as she dragged them to the tub.

"That's not the point," she said fiercely, scrubbing their faces so hard that they both turned bright red. "Orcs are evil, and you must never, ever take them lightly. Hasn't your uncle taught you enough about their devilry?"

"He says just as many bad things about elves," Fili said sullenly.

"If Thorin has led you to believe that Orcs and elves are anything alike, then he's going to get a talking-to." She paused in her scrubbing to look at them gravely. "Elves are cowards and traitors, aye, but Orcs are vile, twisted creatures who scorn light and kindness and revel in suffering. They are born of dark magic."

Both boys nodded, but she turned to stare at Kili.

"Do you hear me? Dark magic. Dark magic."

Alarmed, he bobbed his head quickly. "Yes, Mother, I understand."

"Dark magic." She was shouting now. "Dark magic, dark magic, _DARK MAGIC_!"

Her voice rose and twisted into a high-pitched shriek of terror. Blood began seeping through the cracks in the wood paneling of the washroom. Gasping, Kili scrambled away. He slipped on a pool of blood and fell backwards, landing with a jolt in his own body.

He raised his head and looked around, dazed and disoriented. Someone was still screaming. Dark shapes were hurtling around the edges of his vision. He heard Fili yell and immediately, fear for his brother pushed away the weakness brought on by the fever. Kili sat up, ready to leap into battle at Fili's side.

And then he saw her.

Tauriel whirled through the room like a gale, beautiful in battle, dealing death with the grace of a dancer. Kili could not tear his eyes away. Crashes and curses sounded around all him, but his heart was singing._ She's here, she's here, she came for me..._

His joy came to a stuttering halt as an Orc loomed before him, a snarl plastered on its hideous face. Adrenaline blazed through his blood and Kili lunged off the bed, knocking the creature to the ground. Stars exploded before his eyes as he landed on his injured leg, but Kili gasped through the pain. The Orc swiped at him with a rusty knife; Kili grabbed its wrist and tried to pry the weapon away. He felt his sleeve tear as the Orc clawed at him with its other hand. Kili drove his elbow into the Orc's face and, as it howled, managed to wrest the knife from its hand. He plunged the blade into his foe's neck and rolled away as the Orc shrieked and thrashed.

The heat of battle had held the agony at bay, but now it struck him like a hammer blow. Kili doubled over, gasping, as his heart pounded and his ears rang. The pain was like a serpent, coiling through him with slow, grim pleasure as his mind scampered to escape. _Tauriel. Fili. Help me._ He wanted to call out to them, but all he could do was moan.

He sensed that the battle was over. Oin and Fili once again knelt beside him. Kili tried to reach out to his brother, but he was too weak to do anything more than raise his hand for a few seconds. Fili sensed the gesture, though, and seized his brother's hand, squeezing desperately as though he could hold Kili in this world through the force of his grip alone. But Kili could tell that it wouldn't be enough. Color was leaching from his sight. The dwarves' faces, the furniture, the candles—all were blurring into soft gray shapes. The pain was pushing him, urging him towards darkness, but Kili didn't want to go. He fought, and a bolt of agony shot from his leg, punishing him. Kili slumped against Fili, his strength almost gone. _I'm sorry, brother... I can't... it's too strong for me... let me go..._

A soft voice, full of determination, brushed his ears like a breeze. Kili forced his weary eyes to focus for a moment, and saw Tauriel striding towards him. Something like hope flickered in his chest.

Then things started happening again.

Kili shouted as strong hands lifted him and laid him down on a table. His heart beat frantically, _escape escape escape_, and in his delirium Kili fought to free himself from the faceless specters pinning him down. The fever inside him hissed and Kili struggled harder, knowing that if he could just get up, if he could just get out of there, he could outrun the death waiting for him in the room. A sweet, wholesome smell wafted over him and he paused for a moment, reaching for it, but the touch of it made his wound burn and he thrashed wildly. Blood started dripping down his leg as someone unwound his makeshift bandage.

More hands joined those already holding him down, but Kili managed to lift his head enough to see Tauriel, her hands full of herbs, and she turned and met his eyes as she pressed the leaves to his wound.

For one blinding moment, it was like fire. Kili cried out. The darkness inside him snarled and twisted, fighting the healing herb. Then Tauriel began speaking, strong, lovely words in a language he did not know, and as her voice washed over him Kili felt his panic and anguish ease. He gazed at her in wonder. Coolness spread from the sweet-smelling leaves and his fever weakened and flickered like a smothered campfire. Instead of gasping, he breathed, deeply and strongly.

On the edge of his sight he saw Fili, grinning hugely in relief, but Kili couldn't tear his eyes away from Tauriel. _She is beautiful_, his tired mind whispered. _She is clever, she is strong, she is bold and daring and kind. _

_ She is perfect._

As though agreeing with his thoughts, light began to pool around her, a glowing aura, until Tauriel shone like a star. He was glad for a moment, thinking it fitting, until the last skulking vestiges of fever thrust a memory upon him.

_"Oh, Kili. It can never come back. And neither can I."_

_ She moved away from him, and he saw that Erebor had become a great grey tree, huge as a mountain, with branches that spanned the sky and held the stars like leaves. Its trunk twisted elegantly into a spiral staircase, and as Tauriel began to climb it he felt his heart ache with loss. _

She could not be there.

The shock of loss was too much for his exhausted body. Kili passed out.

He came to a few minutes later. Sleep tugged at his eyelids, but Kili resisted. He wanted to stay in this calm, gentle place, though it felt less real than the landscape of his fever. Fili and the others were no longer at his side, but Tauriel remained, wrapping a clean bandage around his leg. He winced slightly as she tugged it tight, but the agony was gone. Now it just hurt.

Kili watched her for a long moment as she worked.

"Tauriel..."

She looked over at him. "Lie still."

Kili gazed back sadly. Her beauty was flawless, but he knew better. He had seen her leave him. She was gone.

"You cannot be her."

The not-Tauriel stared at him in surprise as he spoke, his weary mind wandering. "She is far away. She... she is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world. It was just a dream."

His voice dropped, but his longing came through clearly.

"Do you think she could have loved me?"

Her fingers brushed his. Kili fell asleep.


	3. Part Three

Hours later, the house had fallen dim and quiet. The humans had gone to their bedrooms and the other dwarves were snoring before the flickering hearth. Everyone had been worn out by stress and worry for Kili, but now they could relax. The young dwarf was sleeping soundly and breathing easily. His wound would heal quickly now.

Comforting thoughts, but Tauriel remained wide awake and edgy. Knowing that sleep would elude her, she'd flitted around the house like a restless domestic ghost, meticulously scrubbing every drop of foul Orc blood from the floor and from their weapons, setting the furniture back in order, straightening the jars and pots that had been thrown around in disarray as the others had tried to find a medicine that would save Kili. Now the house was back in perfect order, all traces of death and battle gone, and Tauriel no longer had anything to distract her from her restless thoughts of Kili.

She looked over at the dwarf. Legolas would have some truly uncharitable things to say about his appearance now, Tauriel realized wryly. Kili looked terrible. His face was pale and lined with exhaustion, his hair tangled, his eyes sunken and shadowed. But his weariness would be soothed by sleep and the memory of pain would fade, leaving him just as bright-eyed and handsome as he'd been when she first saw him.

Tauriel dropped her head into her hands and felt herself blush like a human schoolgirl. Had she really just thought that? What was happening to her? She was an elf; she was supposed to be calm and thoughtful, distant as the stars.

Kili made a small noise in his sleep, eyebrows furrowing as he dreamed. Tauriel knew that the Morgul poison brought on terrible visions, and wondered how it had made Kili suffer. She looked at him with sympathy and her mind seized on the feeling. _Yes. This is all you feel for him. Pity. You feel sorrow for his pain, just as you would feel sorrow for anyone who was tortured by Orcs. There is nothing more. Stop this foolish fantasy. _

_ "Do you think she could have loved me?"_

Part of her shouted "No!" She didn't want to love him. Loving him made no sense. She'd known him for all of two days—not even a blink by her timeline. Elves took love seriously, mulling over their feelings for decades, letting their hearts go only with great caution. And besides, he was what—sixty, seventy? She was easily ten times his age. His words were the lovelorn sighs of a boy, and she, older and wiser, should be immune to them. A delirious dwarf, his head resting in a bowl of walnuts, had pledged his love to an elf—it was absurd. It was laughable.

But if that was true, then why did she want to take his face in her hands and kiss him until she smoothed away those lines of fear and pain? Why did she want to sit by his bed and feed him soup and laugh at his stories? Tauriel bit her lip. She should leave before this got out of hand. Legolas was waiting for her—guiltily, she wondered how he had fared with the rest of the Orc-pack—and unless she returned to the forest soon, Thranduil would not forgive her for centuries.

_"Do you think she could have loved me?"_

Those sweet words—as they repeated over and over in her mind, Tauriel was suddenly furious. She remembered what the Elf-King had said after shooing her away like a child: _"I do not care about one dead dwarf."_ Her eyes flashed at the memory. _Well, what if I do?_ she thought bitterly. _Just because he covets gems and the dwarves refuse him, he would pit our races forever against each other. His old anger blinds him. Who is Thranduil to say who I can and cannot love? _

_ He is your king, _a stern voice that sounded very much like Legolas reminded her. _He is your guardian, your mentor, your benefactor, your judge. If he casts you out you will be entirely alone._

But what if she had Kili?

_"Do you think she could have loved me?"_

Tauriel hadn't answered him. Or had she? Their hands had seemed to move of their own accord, reaching instinctively for each other. His fingers had been cold from the poison and rough from hard living, but the feel of them had thrilled her to her bones. Kili had smiled before sleep claimed him.

Muttering curses in every language she knew, Tauriel stood up and began pacing. She couldn't take this. Her mood swung like a pendulum, from lovesick to guilty to conflicted to angry and right back around again. Every emotion tore her further apart. Home, or wilderness? Certainty, or danger? Her king, or her morals? Her people, or her heart?

"Tauriel?"

Kili was awake.

She felt her knees go weak.

_I shouldn't talk to him._

_ But I want to._

_ Just tell him to go back to sleep._

_ Maybe he needs something._

_ This is hard enough. Don't let it get out of hand._

_"Do you think she could have loved me?"_

Tauriel turned around.


	4. Part Four

Kili was propped up on his elbows, gazing at her with wide eyes. "What are you doing here?"

His voice was low; he didn't want to wake the others. Under the pretense of hearing him better, Tauriel moved closer. "I came to help you."

"No." Kili shook his head. "I saw you go. I heard what you said."

"That was just a dream, Kili."

"It was?"

He looked so young and lost and troubled that before she knew it, Tauriel had closed the distance between them and perched on the edge of his bed, laying her hand on top of his. "Yes. Nothing but a bad dream."

"How do I know? What if that was real and this isn't?"

"Kili..."

"How? How do I know?"

Tauriel didn't know what to do. "Go back to sleep, Kili," she said at last. "You're exhausted. You'll make yourself ill."

"How can I sleep if this is a dream?" He looked at her in desperation. "I have to know, Tauriel, I can't go back to the dark."

Tauriel was at a loss.

"Oh!" His face suddenly cleared. "I know!" He dug his free hand into his pocket. "Please be there... yes!" Kili held up the runestone he'd shown her in the elvish dungeons, his face glowing with relief. "It's here." He drew it back and looked at it closely. "And I haven't broken it."

_I have absolutely no idea what he's going on about_. Tauriel began to feel alarmed—was there still poison in his system? Was he still delirious?

"Kili," she said slowly, "do you know where you are?"

He laughed, suddenly and joyously, and laced his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand. "I'm with you, and you're not gone, you're here. I thought the tree and the stars were real and you healing me was just a dream, but that's backwards, isn't it? Tauriel..." Kili trailed off, looking at her in wonder. "You saved me."

"I had to," Tauriel said in a low voice.

They were quiet for a moment.

"Thank you." Kili said at last. All the laughter had gone out of his voice. He suddenly sounded very young. "I didn't want to die like that."

"Are you afraid to die?"

_What a question to ask a mortal!_ her mind screamed at her, but Kili didn't seem to mind.

"No. Not in battle, at least. Not if I'm doing something worthwhile. And I'd like it to be quick. But that..." A shadow passed over his face and he pulled his hand away from hers. "That was not nice."

"It's all right," Tauriel said soothingly. "It's over now."

"I know... but... what I saw..."

"They were just nightmares."

"I thought..." He drew in a shuddering breath. "All my fears... they came to life, they were real, and I couldn't get away unless I let it win, I wasn't strong enough, if you hadn't come I would have died, I would have failed—"

"Kili." Tauriel took both his hands in hers, her elegant fingers curving over his scarred knuckles. "You are not to blame for anything. There are few indeed who could have fought as long and hard you did. Even the great Thorin Oakenshield would have been hard-pressed to battle such evil." He looked at her, trusting and hopeful, and her voice grew warmer as she continued. "Your kinsmen will be proud. You have earned a place in their stories. And besides, there is no shame at all in being rescued by an elf." A smile tugged at her lips. "As I recall, you were quite unperturbed by it the first time around."

Kili smiled too, and Tauriel could almost see the last traces of the Morgul blight vanish from his warm, mischievous eyes. "You do not know my suffering. I wept later in my cell at the indignity of it all."

"Before or after attempting to curse me?"

He smirked, an expression so self-satisfied that it was unbearable, and, determined to wipe the smugness off his face, Tauriel leaned forward and quenched it with a kiss.

Both their minds ground to a stuttering halt.

But their hearts knew exactly what was going on.

It was a long time before they broke apart, and even then, neither drew back, but stayed close, their foreheads pressed together, gazing deep into each other's eyes. His fears were only shadows now, and all her doubts had been vanquished.

"Do you think she could have loved me?" he whispered.

"Yes," she breathed.

And all the starlight in the skies and all the gold in Erebor could not have stopped them from leaning in for a second kiss.

* * *

**END.**

**To everyone reading this-thank you so much for your support in this brief and exciting venture of mine. It means the world to me that you took the time to read my little idea. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**


End file.
